A Sit Down (and a cup of tea)

There are lots of things I could have chosen to write about today. The fact that I went to a Football match, in January no less, especially given I’m more a Polo in June sorta gal. I could talk about the fragility of friendships, the trouble with twitter, or the fact my stupid phone is a piece of sh......................! However whilst all of those are topics are things I may return to, today I want to talk about just having a nice sit down.

A nice sit down with a cup of tea, a proper “ahhhh” moment, clichéd, definitely, but I do tend to find that clichés are clichés for a reason. There is something to be said for a sit down, a proper sit down, a moment of pause, a minute in which to do nothing. Now admittedly I’m the type of person who rarely sits down, and when I do I’m usually doing at least three other things at the same time. I never used to be this way, but apparently with me you don’t get middle ground, only extremes. Having seen both extremes has allowed me to see that it is not just the folks like the ‘new’ me that have the problem. People who you look at and think “well they don’t do a lot, they must have oddles of me time” are probably just as bad as everyone else.

I used to be rather a big lass, and not in a good way. I was generally quite stationary and I rarely did what I was supposed to be doing. Never-the-less, much as the evidence seemed to point to the contrary, I never stopped, I never took time for me. I would regularly “reward” myself, perk myself up from all the non-me stuff in my life, generally with a kitkat, a packet of crips, a cigarette, and on a couple of occasions a 500g block of cheese, neat. I thought of these ‘treats’ as me moments, but they were exactly the opposite, they were moments where I could hid from the things I didn’t want to face, short lived moments that needed regularly repeating to keep me going, and of course by regularly repeating them I also put on about 50 extra pounds.

I believe that having a proper sit down is a real treat that we owe ourselves at some point every day. It is all too easy to think you have taken a moment for yourself, a moment to just enjoy the moment, when in fact all you’ve done is given yourselves a brief reward that won’t sustain you nearly as much as you think. I’m talking a proper sit down,  none of this perching on the edge of the sofa for a moment whilst catching a few minutes of the show that happens to be on, whilst all the while know you should be getting on with the washing up/ ironing/ hovering*. How about when you are fully entrenched on the sofa, but with the TV, laptop and phone all on around you and allowing you to engage in several types of media at once, that is not time for yourself. There is so much going on in our lives all the time and it is easy to think you are resting when really you are just engaging in another distraction from yourself.

It’s taken me a long time and someone repeatedly telling me, to realise how important time for me, is. I would go as far as to say it is up there with food, air and shelter. I guess it was only yesterday that it finally struck me how big of a deal I think this is. I got a phone call from a good friend, someone who is going through a bit of a tough time, who needed a chat. The one thing I found myself wanting to impart more than any of the other bits of advice, or things I though might cheer them up, was take time for you.

It’s funny, having a sit down is something some of us really need to work at and then there are those who do it natural. My other half has always stressed how important it is too him to have time for himself. I could never really understand why it was so important to him. I think I am starting to get it.

So now I’ll leave you guys to it, I’m off to make a cuppa, toast a hot cross bun and just have a nice sit down, maybe you should too.

*delete as appropriate

Regrets? No! Well not many

This weekend the world decided that I needed to be reminded, firstly that I am indeed a grown up whatever illusions I may be living under and secondly that I am not very good at it. There is nothing that says you’re old like bumping into a friend whilst doing the weekly shop, or getting excited because the laundry basket is finally empty, or proudly surveying your gleaming oven. That pride diminishes somewhat when you discover that your now shiny oven will remain that way, as it no longer works because you got water in a part of it that really shouldn't get wet, and now all it does it make a nasty, electrical burning, smell when you switch it on.

I also had a conversation this weekend about how old you would like to be if you could choose, it seems 18 and 21 are quite popular. It got me thinking, and frankly screw that, when I was 21 I was unmotivated, regularly drunk, smoking way too much, quite fat and I had no self esteem. If I could go back and give my 21 year old self a massive slap then maybe rock up around 22 or 23, that could be fun. To be honest though, there isn’t a lot I’d change, don’t get me wrong I never imagined that aged 30 I’d be doing “admin” and  would have only just moved out of my parental home, but equally I wouldn’t be where I am had I not taken the path I did. Take out a few vital steps and I’d probably be an obese hoarder living in my parents garage with no prospects. Look at it like that I’m doing pretty well. I’ve not had 10 years of therapy for nothing. I guess if I could change something, I’d just speed it all up a bit, even a couple of years would be nice, but then who doesn’t fancy having a bit more time. Just think, if I had a couple of extra years I could, at least, double the amount of words I have written on my work in progress, I’d be at nearly 20,000 words! If nothing else I would have time to create myself a slightly less random playlist to write to, why do I have the Seaseme Street theme tune?

I currently have two NVQ apprentices working with me at the office, they are both in their (very) early 20’s. So what advice should I give them about life since I am doing a fairly shabby job at teaching them about admin, hey I’m still winging it myself. I guess from me they would get, don’t waste your time, don’t second guess yourself and take the opportunities that present themselves. If I have regrets, they are missed opportunities rather than things I’ve done. I’d rather regret doing something than regret not doing it. Equally though, don’t waste your time, don’t indulge in stuff that is going to take time away from you, drugs are a good example, I’m not massively anti them, but if there is any chance you are going to spend your days doing nothing except possibly feeding your habit, don’t bother. There is loads of stuff out there to try, you’ll never manage it all, don’t waste your time on something that isn’t giving you anything back, all it does is keep you away from all the other cool stuff. If you want a buzz go skydiving, it’ll get you high in all senses, give you a rush and you’ll remember it in the morning!

So that’s what I’d tell the 20 somethings in my office and my 20 year old self, well that and listen to that Sunscreen song really carefully, it pretty much covers everything else.

Let me know if there is anything you’d add, or preferably just go and do something cool and tell me about that instead, for now however it’s late and there is a hot cross bun, with my name on it, downstairs! 

Argumental

Ooo I am ticked off! Why do people have to be so confrontational? I think, it makes me cross because I neither like arguments, nor am I very good at them, I’m too good at seeing other peoples point of view.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a good debate, the chance to question an issue, look at something a bit deeper and hopefully from a new perspective is interesting. A debate though is an experience from which you learn, sure it may get heated, but generally everyone is listening to the points being made and either backing them up or contradicting them with evidence. Arguments, especially about petty or unimportant issue, generally occur because one or both parties aren’t listening properly and are doing a lot of self promoting. You can’t debate without listening and you can’t make a reasoned and balanced argument by self promoting.

One of the big issues I have with modern forms of social communication, is that they allow a sort of every day anonymity, that seems to make some folks believe that thinking is redundant. I was using a message board today, its the one we have internally, at work. You’d think, the fact that all the people using said form of communication, know that they are talking to work colleagues and work colleagues only, would make them a little more reserved, but sometimes that does not seem to be the case.

Now admittedly I was using the board to have a little moan, and it was a contentious issue, that of office temperature. Now this is not something that has a clear answer, nor is it ever the case that everyone is going to be happy. However I felt I was making a reasonable point due to the circumstances. I also always ensure that what I write is accurate and not accusatory as I know that a very wide cross section of my colleagues read the messages posted, and you never know when you might bump into someone who’s job it is to do, fix, manage whatever it is you are having a moan about.

However our building has been chilly the last couple of days, engineers have been called to assess the problem, and staff have not been given a huge amount of information on the subject. It isn’t the most important matter in the world and therefore the informality of message boards seemed to be the right place to discuss the issues. I pointed out what the temperature was in the office and had in previous posts pointed out that although the building wasn’t freezing nor was it what could be considered comfortable in my opinion, I had asked others for their thoughts and a nice discussion was going on. The posts were then interrupted by someone managing to successful conveying sarcasm through the medium of text and asking “you don’t really think that’s cold” in response to my temperature quote. Now trust me the sarcasm was there, I am confident I was not misreading the tone, especially given the over use of exclamation marks used (I thought I was bad for that!).

As I have said, I was having a little moan, but equally I had responded careful to other posters, I had not gone on about one thing, I had made reasoned points and I hadn’t been unpleasant in any way. So what did I do to provoke this poster, who seemed to just be looking for a row? I am fairly sure the answer is nothing, some people just can’t help themselves and have to pick a fight. Of course there have been times when someone has posted something I think is stupid and made me want to reply with something cutting and sharp, but what is the point? You are generally going to end up either looking like an idiot, or the person you aim your wit at wont get it and will simply blindly answer back repeating their point with greater gusto. It is a situation akin to a head butt, nobody wins a head butt!

Thankful I am both able to reign in my own desire to snap at people in such settings and not rise to the bait when someone has a go at me(though not all settings admittedly, I’ve been know to get “snappy”). Don’t get me wrong it bothers me, if it didn’t I wouldn’t be writing this, but I shall vent and forget it. It isn’t worth it folks, just clam down and have a nice cup of tea!

Brrrrrrrrr!

Blimey Britain, it’s chuffin’ chilly! Can the last one to bed tonight pleeease remember to shut the fridge!

As you can probably tell I am back from my holiday and once again in the UK. It is amazing, how quickly all my good holiday habits, writing daily, going to the gym, eating well, have gone out of the window. Once again I am amazed at just how much of your time and energy, having a house takes up. However I am also maintaining that my other half working shifts is not helping, particularly as he was on nights this weekend, so I am creeping around, I can’t do the laundry, can’t vacuum, can’t Christmas stuff back in the attic, can’t be arse to do those things either, but that’s hardly the point. So between the cold, trying to be quiet and prepping myself for the dreaded first day back in the office tomorrow, all of my good intentions went right out of the window this weekend.

Still it is a New Year, whilst I don’t make resolutions per say, I am going to use the New Year as added ammunition in my determination not to let a few setbacks to become a major road block. I have a plan, this year I am not going to let the daily grind drag me down, oh no! I am going to fill my little world with things that make me feel, not just good, but also like I’m doing something worth while. Writing is the obvious one, and I will be aiming to write something everyday, especially once I get my new toy! (Thanks Dad!) I will be exercising regularly, not only because I enjoy it, but also because it balances out how stationary you when writing and this whole thing is about balance at the end of the day. I’m also going to try some new looks, because frankly it’s fun and makes me smile as essentially it is fancy dress.

I’ll let you know how it goes, though so far the fact it was bloomin’ cold this morning, more in the office than out of it, and I had to answer so many emails has not been the greatest beginning. However I did help with and owl rescue this evening and return to my dance class for the first time in a month, so lets just say swings and roundabouts eh?

I hope you are all having a successful and happy, or at least warm new year. Feel free to share your thoughts, aims etc. I like to hear other people ideas on how to make live a little better. 

Floozy

Just a brief post, I'm afraid I've been a bit of a writing floozy and have been posting fictional work else where. I have a few blog posts in the pipeline, but in the meantime if anyone is interested my first full short story can be found here......
http://jottify.com/works/uncarpeted/

No Snow

So I go on a skiing holiday with my family and other assorted significant folk, brilliant, except there is no snow, ah! However I am on holiday with my family and other assorted significant folk, also there is a rather excellent coffee come book shop down in the local town, so all is definitely not lost.

I have been doing a lot of writing in lieu of skiing since we have been here, nothing like sitting surround by words, whilst stringing your own thoughts together on paper. I think there will be a lot more of that over the course of the next week. Not so much due to the lack of snow (and the fact I’ve given myself shin splints), the snow is not the nicest, but equally not un-ski-able, there are other forces at work which will likely keep me away from the slopes.

Going out and catching a few runs is fine, it’s more tiring than usual, you have to have your wits about you, not just for the usual, occasional death cookies, (hard lumps of ice that sit innocently, blending into the snow, waiting to catch out the unwary skier or snowboarder and bring them crashing down in a hail of limbs and equipment) but also for, rocks, grass, tree debris, and occasionally actual trees. There is also a lot of ice, not the patchy, “I’ll just go straight over this and turn elsewhere” sort, the “Oh bugger I’ve run out of slope, I’m going to have to turn really quickly or do an embarrassing reverse out of this if I’m not careful” sort. Still all of these obstacles can be overcome or at least avoided and anyway the views are still great, the sun is warm on your back, and the light is fantastic. There are bits of the mountain best avoided; equally there are runs that I usually hate which are simply beautiful at the moment. One black run in particular I would usually steer clear of, as though it might give me rabies or the bubonic plague, yet being protected from the wind and having gained it’s self a bit of an reputation for being a bastard, means it still has a covering of that illicit white powder, (yes snow, not crack!) and there is no-one else on it.

On the whole, whilst the season is currently leaving a lot to be desired, there is still fun to be had out on the slopes. However it seems the circus may have just rolled in to town and my PMA (positive mental attitude) might be about to evaporate along with the last of the powder patches. Music Fest has just kicked off and college ski week is imminent on the horizon, I have nothing against the hordes of country music fans rolling in to town, nor the college kids coming from a good time, and more than a few beers, the town, could certainly do with the visitors. It is the fact that the folks rolling in, from far and wide, seem to think they can ski despite barely being able to tell a ski from a snow board, or having the foggiest idea how to do up their boots. Sure they have been to the store and brought all of the equipment, well at least all of the equipment they think is trendy and cool, the sudden decline in the amount of people wearing helmets is both alarming and astonishing, still it is their delicate melons that will split open when they fall not mine, and there is the but, they will fall, they do, frequently and generally in front of me! That is what is going to make the mountain un-ski-able for the next few days, the sheer numbers of people out there who are unable to ski and unwilling to accept the fact that it is not a sport you can ‘just pick up’, nor is it wise to try. Much as I love skiing and others in my group love snowboarding, it is a dangerous sport which can result in some really nasty injuries, not only to you but to other people. I know I can ski, I know I can avoid the odd one or two folks who get into a bit of trouble and lose control, but when that becomes everyone on the mountain I am not willing to take the risk!

So for the time being you will find me sat in the book shop with a big steam mug of chai tea latte, and my notebook. To those of you braving the mountain, good luck!