Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Butterflies

It is quite raw, so please bear with me and apologies if it is awful, but here is a thing what I wrote.


The girl loved to run and play with her friends. She was still little and knew the simple joy of the sun, the wind and the falling of a leaf. She ran amongst the others every day, through the meadow and down to the woods. She played in the streams, climbed in the trees and looked beneath the rocks. But mostly the girl ran alongside her friend’s, arms wide, mouth open, enthralled by the world.

One day however the girl and her friends came to a dark place, a place they hadn’t been before. The air here was cool but the girl didn’t like the place and sweat prick her skin despite the chill. The air here was damp and stale, but the girl’s throat felt dry and tight. The light was not dappled and playful here, it was dark and uninviting, the girl felt a fluttering, churning in her stomach.  The children stood together, grouped tight, suddenly there was a flash of yellow and they scattered, running again. This time with purpose towards the light and airy places of the world, as fast as their little legs would carry them.

The girl forgot about the dark place and played until the sun started to slip from the sky, one by one the children’s mothers called them home. As the girl turned to shut the door on the world and join the warm, laughter of her family the sky flashed yellow as the sun finished its descent. Suddenly the girl felt a familiar churning, turning in her tummy. Her mother held her and smoothed her hair and soon she was absorbed in family fun, despite there being a funny in her tummy.

The next morning the girl leapt form bed ready to run and play with her friends, but before she could go any further she was pulled back by a tightness in her belly. Her mother smoothed her hair, held her and rocked her and made her a simple porridge to sooth her, but nothing helped. So the girl and her mother went to town to visit the doctor.

The doctor was gruff and grey with a flash of yellow in his eyes. He growled and grumbled at the fuss he was presented with. He told the girl’s mother not to let her eat berries in the wood with her rambunctious friends. He prescribed plenty of rest and sent the girl home to bed.

The girl lay under cool sheets, sipping ice water and listening to her friends run through the meadow, the warmth of the summer sun warming their backs and pushing them toward the cool relief of the woods. The girl missed her friends, but whenever she tried to rise her tummy tightened and ached. Her mother brought her herbal teas to calm and clear her pain but to no avail. Eventually the sun was sinking once again to its nightly slumber. The girl to tried to sleep, but it was a fitful and restless affair.

The next day the girl awoke to find her stomach full and round, reaching out to the world without her, but tender to the touch. Once again the girl and her mother drove to town and visited the gnarled and growling doctor. Even this grumpy, grumbler was perplexed by the girls distorted, double in size, belly pushing her shirt forward. So with more moaning he sent her off to the next town with the big clinic.

The town was big, bigger than the girl could have imagined, the clinic was white and bright, too bright. It was not bright like her airy meadow, despite its brilliance it loomed. The girl held her mother’s hand as they made their way through the corridors, and her troublesome tum, tumbled and twisted with every turn.

The doctors in the clinic were kind but closed, umming and ahhing and looking at her this way and that. The girl held her mother’s hand and tried to think of her meadow, of her wood, of the running streams, the high trees and the low rocks. All that happened though was her stomach began to ache, dull and low. The girl bit her lip and tried not to cry out, she begged her mother to take her home but the doctors shook their heads and made their notes. She was not going home; instead she would have to stay at the giant, white clinic with its lights so bright. She would be prodded and poked, tested and touched, eventually being allowed to sleep, though it was a sleep more fitfully than ever, even with her mother’s protective arm so close by.

On the second day at the clinic the cool and collected staff seemed to be hot under the collar. The girl’s tummy was by now so big and baleful that she struggled to focus on their rambling, ruminations. The doctors and the nurses, the students and the consultants looked and tutted. They scratched their heads, they scratched their beards and they scratched around for ideas. Then a lady doctor stepped forward and said “it’s no use, we need to see what’s inside”. They rushed and they hurried and they got things ready and before the girl could prepare herself the time had come.

The room was hushed; the lady doctor stepped forward with the scalpel raised high. With flick of her wrist and a flash of yellow in her eyes, she made the incision. The girl listened for her scream, but instead came a sigh and from in her insides, fluttered hundreds of butterflies.

The girl soon recover and before very long was back running and playing with all of her chums. If there is anything we can learn from the girl in the woods, don’t run with your mouth open, you never know what you’ll catch.  


Saturday, 9 February 2013

Condition or Compulsion

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou

Flash fiction or forced fiction. Is there any point in forcing writing if it won't come. I am undecided.

I know that to get the words to flow you have to turn on the tap, but what if all that comes out is brown and cloudy. Is it worth leaving it running in the hope that it'll run clear, when does the point come that you need to give up and go run an errand or visit a friend whilst you wait for the problem to rectify itself.

I am struggling at the moment to get the words to flow. I'm stuck between the feeling that there is something there, something that is at least good enough to satisfy me, and the feeling that I am just not that articulate and it doesn't matter how much I persevere nothing will ever be quite enough.

I guess at the end of the day writing for me is a compulsion. I can't get it out of my head. I have a vein of creative desire which I can't satisfy any other way. If I sing, ears bleed, if I paint, eyes cross and if I dance, it ends in tears. I'm not saying I can write well, but I can do it without damaging anyone. Reading this is your choice.

So whether I leave the tap running or give it a while is still up in the air, maybe I'll have another cup of tea while I decide.

Saturday, 5 January 2013

Shhh I'm having a moment, just me and my book.

“So many books, so little time.” ― Frank Zappa

2011 - 13 books. 2012 - 20 books. Which means 2013 - 27 books? Hmm we'll see, I'll be happy with 24, two a month wouldn't be bad.

My first read of the year, in a serendipitous fashion, reflects a new beginning of sorts, J K Rowling's first post-Harry novel. Whatever you think of it a a novel, it is safe to say that the author is a storyteller by nature.

The story of a rural town in the West Country which is struck by the sudden death of one of it's Parish Councillors is a powerful one. The charters are well rounded and in some cases beautifully loathsome, most are flawed. The action flips between the idyllic town and a neighboring estate, which is far less salubrious, with an almost careless ease. The story itself is one of those, things happen, but equally you would be happen just to read about the lives of the characters, at least that is how it feels.

I finish it today and will miss Pagford and it's inhabitants. I fine it hard to move between books, between the world the authors share with me. I also have no doubt that I will re-visit Ms Rowling's new offering in the future as I do so often with her Mr Potter and pals.

First though I must find a new landscape to inhabit, new lives to learn about, because there really are so many books, and time is so very short.

Sunday, 15 January 2012

Floozy

Just a brief post, I'm afraid I've been a bit of a writing floozy and have been posting fictional work else where. I have a few blog posts in the pipeline, but in the meantime if anyone is interested my first full short story can be found here......
http://jottify.com/works/uncarpeted/

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Honesty and Turning on the Taps

Ok I will hold my hands up and admit it. The transformation of the Om from trash filled heap to almost lovely working space was the catalyst from me to neglect the blog for a few days, but after those first few days the fear of what to write, the act of over thinking it and a general drying up of ideas was what kept me away.

I guess all those folks who say you have to keep writing to keep the tap running are correct. It is scary how quickly the words disappear when you don’t keep it up. How a once fantastic idea with huge potential for growth suddenly seems like a withered shame of a notion when over thought and not allowed to flow on to the page.

So I am back, and I am not necessarily writing the most interesting and thought provoking posts, but I’m leaving the tap on and hopefully those little nuggets of writing gold will out in the wash.

Right now however I am feeling rather smug that I have been brave enough to come back and write even if it is dull as ditch water, so I am off to reward myself with a cuppa and a choccie hobnob. If you are still reading I suggest you do the same, you deserve it. 

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Om

Sorry I have been absent for nearly a fortnight now, but I have been working on something very important to me. My own space.

My other half and I moved in to our first home together about four months ago, and as anyone who has done such a thing will attest to, it takes a while to get your space sorted. The house is certainly far from perfect, but I have finally got my own little room sorted out enough that I have somewhere to sit, create, read, write etc.

And why Om do I hear you ask? No, oh well I'm still going to tell you. As it is the smallest room in the house it was in grave danger of being called the baby room. My other half wasn't overly keen on what the implications of that name might be, he therefore suggested that since it was half a room it should either be called the Ro or the Om. Om it is.

So that's why I haven't been regaling you with my thoughts, ideas and Newsnight inspired rants. I am set up now though, so I will try harder!