You and Me

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ― Bob Marley

Other people. We spend out time with then, we think about them, we expend energy on them, we need them. All is well with this, as long as; they spend time with us; think about us; expend energy on us; need us. As soon as inequality creeps in we are in trouble, whilst inequality is taking hold, blame also slips in through a side window.

I feel bad because you are not spending time with me. You are making me feel bad, You aren’t changing this. You don’t care that I feel bad. You don’t care about me.

Well yes you might feel bad when someone doesn’t spend as much time with you, but are they making you feel bad? They are making you feel rejected, you gave them the power to do that. Take away that power and responsibility, what have you got? Restored neutrality, surely?

Relationships become like an equation from this view point. You spend energy on them, they spend less one you, you feel neglected, you take away their power to make you feel neglected by taking care of yourself, balance is restored.

It isn’t that simple though is it? Social norms tell us that we can be expected to be treated in certain ways. We are brought up to behave within certain accepted framework and believe others will do the same, that others should do the same. In order to maintain social normality, in order for us to recognise un-normal behaviour we need the rules to be followed by all. We need to need other people in order for society to function.

Don’t we?