Quit it

"Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation." - Saint Augustine

Every year I give chocolate up for Lent and every year I get endlessly asked why, get opinions proffered on the stupidity of giving things up, and comments about how "you don't need to give it up anyway!". I often get made to feel like some sort of social pariah, either for choosing to observe a 'religious' tradition, or for having enough will power to give something up. 

I know Lent is a religious symbol, I know a lot of people think it is outdated and irrelevant, I'm not particularly religious. However I was schooled at a Catholic institution and it was fine. I never felt pressured to believe, or to join in if I didn't want to. For me a Catholic education was one of interesting stories, comforting traditions and friendly faces. The only negativity I experienced was from the academic side of school, not the pastoral, religious side. So for me I have positive associations with the traditions and rituals of Catholicism.  

It is not so much observing a religious tradition for me, as continuing a tradition of childhood. It feels like an important part of the passing year. Given my relationship with time it is hardly surprising it holds significance. That bit is a no brainer for me. 

What about the validity of giving something up, or whether you need to give it up. Do I NEED to give up chocolate? Nope. I am not over-weight and I would imagine statistically the likelihood of me getting big again is probably lower then for many people. The amount of chocolate I do consume probably doesn't do me much harm physically, so I am fine. 

It isn't about my physical health though. It's about my mental health. I have an addictive personality and I am a control freak. So maybe it is good for me to manage my addictive urges, maybe it is bad for me to support my controlling ones. What I do know is, it is necessary to help me move through my year and stay safe. 

At the end of the day why I chose to give something up for Lent isn't really important. What is a shame, is that I feel I have to defend it. It is a complex thing, it feeds part of my story which is clam and nurturing, it also feeds part of it that's more challenging. For those asking remember, curiosity is one thing, derision is something else. 

 

Gotta have faith?

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Faith has been a bit of a theme lately, not least on Sunday when I was asked to celebrate a friend's son's Christening. It was strange celebrating a CofE service. If anything my family would be Protestant, but I went to a Catholic school and my extended family are Catholic, so for me if it's not Mass it doesn't feel right. However I did get a cup of tea which I was allowed to drink whilst sat in the pews so it wasn't that bad. 

I find religious faith quite a challenge, I'm not sure I believe in, as my brother would put it, the magical sky wizard. What I do have though is a sense of something more, something bigger. I just don't know what that is, maybe it is a collective consciousness, maybe it is the flying spaghetti monster *all hail his noodley appendages*. There is something that my faith hovers over that I can't quite put my finger on. 

I don't think that is a bad thing though. I am science minded, I believe in fact, in proof, in evidence, in proving a hypothesis. I also strongly feel that a sense of something else, means you might have your feet firmly planted on the ground but you can still have you head in the clouds, feeling the sunshine, hearing the birds sing and hoping to find something new.