Quit it

"Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation." - Saint Augustine

Every year I give chocolate up for Lent and every year I get endlessly asked why, get opinions proffered on the stupidity of giving things up, and comments about how "you don't need to give it up anyway!". I often get made to feel like some sort of social pariah, either for choosing to observe a 'religious' tradition, or for having enough will power to give something up. 

I know Lent is a religious symbol, I know a lot of people think it is outdated and irrelevant, I'm not particularly religious. However I was schooled at a Catholic institution and it was fine. I never felt pressured to believe, or to join in if I didn't want to. For me a Catholic education was one of interesting stories, comforting traditions and friendly faces. The only negativity I experienced was from the academic side of school, not the pastoral, religious side. So for me I have positive associations with the traditions and rituals of Catholicism.  

It is not so much observing a religious tradition for me, as continuing a tradition of childhood. It feels like an important part of the passing year. Given my relationship with time it is hardly surprising it holds significance. That bit is a no brainer for me. 

What about the validity of giving something up, or whether you need to give it up. Do I NEED to give up chocolate? Nope. I am not over-weight and I would imagine statistically the likelihood of me getting big again is probably lower then for many people. The amount of chocolate I do consume probably doesn't do me much harm physically, so I am fine. 

It isn't about my physical health though. It's about my mental health. I have an addictive personality and I am a control freak. So maybe it is good for me to manage my addictive urges, maybe it is bad for me to support my controlling ones. What I do know is, it is necessary to help me move through my year and stay safe. 

At the end of the day why I chose to give something up for Lent isn't really important. What is a shame, is that I feel I have to defend it. It is a complex thing, it feeds part of my story which is clam and nurturing, it also feeds part of it that's more challenging. For those asking remember, curiosity is one thing, derision is something else. 

 

Shrove Tuesday

Happy Pancake Day bloggersphere, I hope you have all spent the day gorging yourselves on lovely treats. I for one have spent my evening indulging in lemon and sugar, chocolate and banana, cinnamon and syrup filled pancakes. I am sure some of you will have given a thought to the reason we celebrate Pancake Day. I know I have had a fair few conversations in the last week about Shrove Tuesday, Lent and of course what, if anything, people might consider giving up.

I find that at this time of year I hear a lot of people pondering what they may or may not be able to give up, always an interesting conversation. You hear a lot of “I might give up this”, or “I'd like to give up that”, often people will decide not to actual give them up. Personally I think just reflecting on what we could or could not do without is the most important part of the process.

What does always take me by surprise however, is the reaction toward anyone, me in this case, who is already committed to give something up. People ask "Are you giving something up?" or "What would you give up?" rarely do I hear "What are you giving up?" I give the same answer more or less every year, and the reaction is generally one of surprise and curiosity. I get quizzed on why I would give up something I enjoy, am I religious, there must be a reason. It seems that "to prove I can" is not a good enough reason, and is met with "but why". It's hard in social situation with people who see you as the same as them to explain. It’s embarrassing to be put on the spot by a group of quizzical faces, expected to give what they consider a reasonable explanation of why you choose self denial. It took me a long time to work out that not everyone feels the way I do, so I can see how the same can happen the other way. 

I have a predisposition towards addiction. It’s always been the case, fortunately I managed to avoid getting addicted to anything particularly bad for me before I came to this realisation. I have been addicted to cigarettes and despite having quit 6 years ago (blimey 6 years!) I would kill for one right now. I have been addicted to other things, food, exercise; addiction to exercise by the way isn't as good for you as you might think. I am fortunate that I dislike alcohol and I’ve never come in to contact with any other substances that you really don't want to get hooked on. I sometimes wonder how different things might have been had my upbringing not been as sheltered as it was, there but for the grace of God and all that.

All of the above means that giving something up for Lent is a no brainer for me. Can I battle my will and win? I don't need to do it per say, but I like to check that I can. You might argue that it doesn't have to be Lent and of course you'd be right, but there is something about a set period of time, one which is probably longer than you'd set yourself, with a clear beginning and end point that makes it appealing. On top of that my school years were dominated by a religious backdrop so Lent holds and extra resonance for me. Last but not least it also means I’m not alone, even if I don’t know anyone personally giving something up for Lent, I know that there are other people out there doing the same as me.

I finally get why other people aren't as bothered about the idea of quitting, for the sake of it, as I am. I'd like to ask those of you out there that feel that way to remember when you come across someone who does choose to participant in Lent that they no doubt have their reasons, give them a break.

Right pass me the frying pan, the time has come for more pancakey goodness. I shall apologise now, as you are all in for 6 weeks of moaning about the lack of chocolate in my life, all I can do is try not to go on too much about it and remind you I have my reasons.