Argumental

Ooo I am ticked off! Why do people have to be so confrontational? I think, it makes me cross because I neither like arguments, nor am I very good at them, I’m too good at seeing other peoples point of view.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a good debate, the chance to question an issue, look at something a bit deeper and hopefully from a new perspective is interesting. A debate though is an experience from which you learn, sure it may get heated, but generally everyone is listening to the points being made and either backing them up or contradicting them with evidence. Arguments, especially about petty or unimportant issue, generally occur because one or both parties aren’t listening properly and are doing a lot of self promoting. You can’t debate without listening and you can’t make a reasoned and balanced argument by self promoting.

One of the big issues I have with modern forms of social communication, is that they allow a sort of every day anonymity, that seems to make some folks believe that thinking is redundant. I was using a message board today, its the one we have internally, at work. You’d think, the fact that all the people using said form of communication, know that they are talking to work colleagues and work colleagues only, would make them a little more reserved, but sometimes that does not seem to be the case.

Now admittedly I was using the board to have a little moan, and it was a contentious issue, that of office temperature. Now this is not something that has a clear answer, nor is it ever the case that everyone is going to be happy. However I felt I was making a reasonable point due to the circumstances. I also always ensure that what I write is accurate and not accusatory as I know that a very wide cross section of my colleagues read the messages posted, and you never know when you might bump into someone who’s job it is to do, fix, manage whatever it is you are having a moan about.

However our building has been chilly the last couple of days, engineers have been called to assess the problem, and staff have not been given a huge amount of information on the subject. It isn’t the most important matter in the world and therefore the informality of message boards seemed to be the right place to discuss the issues. I pointed out what the temperature was in the office and had in previous posts pointed out that although the building wasn’t freezing nor was it what could be considered comfortable in my opinion, I had asked others for their thoughts and a nice discussion was going on. The posts were then interrupted by someone managing to successful conveying sarcasm through the medium of text and asking “you don’t really think that’s cold” in response to my temperature quote. Now trust me the sarcasm was there, I am confident I was not misreading the tone, especially given the over use of exclamation marks used (I thought I was bad for that!).

As I have said, I was having a little moan, but equally I had responded careful to other posters, I had not gone on about one thing, I had made reasoned points and I hadn’t been unpleasant in any way. So what did I do to provoke this poster, who seemed to just be looking for a row? I am fairly sure the answer is nothing, some people just can’t help themselves and have to pick a fight. Of course there have been times when someone has posted something I think is stupid and made me want to reply with something cutting and sharp, but what is the point? You are generally going to end up either looking like an idiot, or the person you aim your wit at wont get it and will simply blindly answer back repeating their point with greater gusto. It is a situation akin to a head butt, nobody wins a head butt!

Thankful I am both able to reign in my own desire to snap at people in such settings and not rise to the bait when someone has a go at me(though not all settings admittedly, I’ve been know to get “snappy”). Don’t get me wrong it bothers me, if it didn’t I wouldn’t be writing this, but I shall vent and forget it. It isn’t worth it folks, just clam down and have a nice cup of tea!