2011 Reflection

I’m not sure if I’ve said previously, but I’m currently in the Grand Ol’ US of A with the folks, siblings and assorted others. It feels so good to get time away from the daily grind, it is as though I have left the weight of all the inevitable life niggles behind. I’ve never really felt that before, but as I sit in my favourite bookstore, in a beautiful Colorado ski town, sipping a hot chai tea latte on what is a bone-chillingly cold day, I truly am able to appreciate how important it is to get away from all that, to take the time to do something different, something that allows you to appreciate what you have. I guess the fact that we are currently braced to step in to a new year might have something to do with it as well.

2011 has been an interesting year, some changes, some maintenance of the status quo. On the whole it’s not been bad. The biggest hurdle has been getting the hang of living in a new home, with my wonderful other half, well wonderful most of the time. There are a lot of things that happen during your journey on this earth that will change the way you travel, some you know about even if you can’t fully appreciate, some that sneak up on you rather unexpectedly. Moving out of my parent’s house has definitely been in the second category. It’s been hard at times, really hard, the days when you realise that you have been living the way you are used to and as a result you suddenly have no clean pants or pans, the only things for dinner are broccoli that has gone to bloom, half a tub of yoghurt and a lump of salami, (take away anyone?) and you have absolutely no idea what to tackle first. Add to that the fact that the other half works shifts, something I am not yet used to and possibly never will be, and the whole thing can get somewhat overwhelming, making you thing that you’d really like to just move back home and write the whole idea off as a bit of a misadventure. Spending your evening shuttling between houses and never really having your own space wasn’t that bad was it?

Whilst those days are hard they are hugely outweighed by the good days. The days when you’ve done everything that “has” to be done together as a couple and then you have time to enjoy each others company, the days that you spend doing the things you want to do and are able share your challenges and successes with that special someone at the end of it, the meals together where it is just the two of you and you just sit and chat, having friends over on your own terms, and leaving last nights plates on the table because lets face it who cares!

The maintenance of the status quo is almost a bigger challenge and weight on my mind, but in a less immediate way. I have no problem actually maintaining the status quo, I get up, I go to work, I do my tasks, I come home, I work out, I see friends, simple. It is un-maintaining, breaking the pattern to allow other things into my life, which is the difficult task. Finding time to write, for example, both here and in other formats, is not something I have regularly found time for in the past, but I know it is something I want, or possible even need, to fit in.

Challenging whether my job is where I really want to be is another. The difficultly there however is whilst I know it doesn’t make me happy, I’m not sure what would. In the past I have spent a lot time locked in an internal battle about what career path is right for me, but as someone very wise pointed out, if you don’t give yourself space and time how are you ever suppose to figure that out. So rather than ponder and debate with myself I have spent 2011 trying to give myself some space to breath, I’m hoping 2012 provides some answers, but I guess not all of us know what we are “meant to be” and maybe I never will.

Whatever I may think of 2011 when I look back, it has definitely been a year of learning, learning how to live with someone new, learning how to give myself space to live, and learning that the things that don’t come easily may be challenging but facing that challenge is worth it. I hope that 2011 was a good year for you and that 2012 is a positive one too. Hey if all else fails at least we only have 7 months until the Olympic come to London (and if it’s not your thing 7 ½ months until it finishes)!

That end of year feeling

Well it doesn't look as though December is a good time of year for blogging does it? I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I last had anything to say. Of course that isn't true, I have had plenty to say, but I've also had a terrible case of the "I'll justs", I'll just sort some presents, I'll just do some wrapping, I'll just sort the decorations. It isn't only blogging that has been neglected though, the laundry, the washing up, any hint of organisation have all been affected, in fact the house and by proxy my life in general has become a slovenly hole during the run up to Christmas festivities. Also, so much for a restful Christmas period, I've hardly stopped, don't get me wrong it has been lovely all round, I've seen friends (thought so not as much as I'd like) and family, I've eaten good food and been spoilt rotten. None of that however has left much time for just sitting down and getting thoughts down on paper. I'm now on a bit of a break with my family and loved ones, not only will it be a chance for some quality time, but also there will be plenty of time for writing. However if I don't get a chance to write in the next couple of days, let me take this opportunity to wish you a Happy New Year and a bright start to 2012. Here's to 12 months of pen to paper!

A shorty..........or not!

Right I can’t stop long, my fiction work in progress is coming along nicely and I want to keep the flow up. However I didn’t want to just leave you with all that crazy from last time, especially when there is so much crazy going on in the world at large, particularly on these fair isles of the United Kingdom, or as it shall hence forth be known the ‘Not Really All That United Kingdoms of It’s Not Fair and Anyway They Started It’. Honestly between Paul McMullan, the public sector strikes and the fact I’ve lost my parking at work, I think I might leave, jump ship before it’s too late, bugger off elsewhere, American perhaps, where at least the crazy doesn’t come as such a surprise.

I don’t even feel as thought it is worth covering McMullan, I mean really I think the man has utterly cracked up, the things he came out with at the Leveson Enquiry on Tuesday were totally bizarre. The only possible explanation is, that he knows he’s going down, so he has decided to, not only take down the entire, sinking ship down with him, but also to ensure that he’ll go down in infamy for being barmy if nothing else! It seems as though he thinks, that by sticking to the principles by which he has been operating, he retains some sort of dignity? Mr McMullan words fail me.

The public sector strikes this week are trickier, I’m fully aware of the difficulties of being a public sector worker, I am one, as is my other half. At the moment we all feel we are being squeezed in every direction imaginable. What other people don’t see is that’s it’s not just the fact that we haven’t had a pay rise and we are concerned about what is happening to our pensions that is affecting us. Management are squeezing more and more, out of less and less staff, many of us are already dealing with the consequences of a lack of investment in every area of our working lives, from IT infrastructure to the buildings we work in, to staff training, and much more between. We lack a lot and we make do. Non public sector workers may well look at us and say, we know nothing about the high end pressures of the private sector and they may be correct, but they probably don’t have to deal with working in cold buildings with broken heaters, having to beg for an extra paper clip or pencil, and being expected to produce high level work whilst being trusted about as much as you would a six years old with a flame thrower. Then there is IE6, yes, you read that correctly, some of us are still using IE6.

Having said all of that I’m not sure going on strike was the best plan in the world. It felt a bit like, we have a plan so we are going to gosh, darn stick to it whatever the circumstances. What the public sector and the unions need to be careful about is that wider public support in our favour has the potential to be one of the most powerful tools in the arsenal. However at the moment everyone is effected just as badly, everyone is feeling the pinch and everyone is quite likely to quickly get fed up with what they could see as the public sector whinging on a bit, whilst Europe is hanging on by a thread and might well fall in to a massive financial black hole, threatening to pull us in with it. There seemed to be general public support for Wednesday’s strikes, but lets not assume that will hold out if we aren’t careful. Unfortunately my experience on Wednesday, when I happened to have a long time planned day of annual leave, was that there seemed to be an awful lot of people having a jolly good day off work and not many folk on the picket lines. I mean come on if we are going to strike lets at least give sky news something to stand their reports by otherwise they get lonely and confused.

Me losing my parking is by the by, never-the-less the way things are going it could be the straw that breaks the camels back. Then again deep down I am terribly English so I might just pull the curtains, have a nice cup of tea and wait for all this to just blow over.